. . . The reason I asked you that is because, as I've been posting to others recently, I do think it's very important to a betrayed spouse's own self-esteem for them to get their wayward spouse to at least deal with them from a basic position of honesty. The daily deceit can just EAT YOU UP inside, and it's no way to teach children, for example, how healthy families (even divorced, but successfully-co-parented ones) function. I think it's emotionally healthiest for you to get to a position where it's basically "Look, YOU know what you're doing, I know what you're doing, and YOU know that I know, and you also need to know that I'm CATEGORICALLY NOT OKAY WITH IT. I love you, and don't want to divorce, but you are an adult, and I can't control you. All I can tell you is the circumstances under which I'm willing to be married, and I cannot live in an open marriage, make no mistake."
