Ganb8te 4 - Putting on my giraffe ears

[Sotto]

Hi Gan. Well done on the GAL btw! I'm reading your recent posts with interest as your sitch is similar to mine in some aspects. After talking a lot in the early weeks/months after BD and S, I decided to start LRT and not initiate contact. Since Oct, we've only spoken once for about 20 mins. We are in fairly regular text contact - once a week or so. But that was often initiated by me, and I haven't done that lately. D has never been mentioned between us.

He 'reached' out a few times over Xmas - present, card, HNY message. And he initiated the last contact we had, which was about a practical thing. But we had a warm and pleasant convo.

The big difference in my sitch is that H is (was?) having a PA and showed no signs of ending it. But the A was looking pretty rocky, last I heard. She lives abroad and had an on/off R with someone else. When we last spoke, H was going away alone for a weekend to see a psychic and 'think about his life.'

So, I guess I struggle with the same Qs. Is Nc working? Should I just carry on as I am and focus on me? We haven't had a R talk for a while, should I initiate something etc? H is pretty conflict avoidant, and I worry he may not initiate anything.

But, I also think - if H decides he has made a big mistake, he will get in in touch - won't he? So, I guess I don't have much useful to offer....but I'll be interested to see the answers you get!