I think I agree with both of you and will add my two bits if that's ok...: )
When someone passes away ( close relative) the advice that is given to the the one left behind is not to make any major decisions in that first year. Going through the grieving process brings out a lot of emotions and decisions are not always made best when in an emotional state.
I think that the LBS goes through a grieving process and all kinds of emotions especially during the first six months. Hp does sound very logical in some of his posts and in others I can sense him reactioning an emotional way to something his W. did that week.
Cadet always sends his welcome out with your W/H has given you the gift of time. Time is a gift and it helps us make choices that our best for us. If after GAL, moving forward, setting boundaries, becoming a more happy whole person HP wants to file for D. Then that is exactly what he should do. iMHO.
I do think that when married people are living apart that they should have some form of agreement tin place that helps them with child support, custody, and protecting each other from any debt incurred by one or the other. This can all be done without dissolving the marriage.
My first marriage we Divorced after a year and even though I was the one that wanted the Divorce I felt more sure and comfortable with my decision after the year. My second marriage ( 15 yrs later) we have been apart now 2.5 yrs and I had decided that if there was no reconciliation I would file for D this year.
I think when the emotions all settle down and life starts to move along...there comes a time when you know which direction to go and you move in that direction without doubt and without regret.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
