Well, I received the 'I plan on filing for D' email today from W. She plans on using tax return money to fund it, so should be a few mos from now.
I'll admit that it was frustrating to read her email. She feels there is no turning back, that she had avoided interacting with me recently because she didn't want to say what needed to be said, that she needs to just cut ties and move on....
I responded politely- validated her feelings/thoughts several times. Told her that although this is not what I wanted, I would not stop her from doing what she feels she needs to do. I touched upon a few of her points in a non confrontational way in an effort to explain some of my actions.
In my new found confidence, I may have added a hint of pressure in my response. I feel so much better about myself and the tools I've picked up over these past 16 mos, that part of me doesn't want her to miss out on the 'new' Tarheel. But I understand she's on her own journey and I have to ask myself objectively if I really want to be with the person she is right now. This will come across as 'judgmental', but I do believe she still has a way to go in learning about who she is and what makes her happy. I'm still learning and I started my self discovery probably a year before she did.
Am I sad? Sure. But I've basically lived as a divorced parent (other than dating) for quite a while now, so not much will change. It was interesting that as I first read her note, how little it effected me. No freaking out or panicking. I'll back off and let her drive filing for D. I'll be friendly, but not friends now that she's made this decision. Maybe in time that changes, but I'll worry about that down the line. In the meantime, I'm in the process of planning a summer beach vacation with the kids and my family!
