WAW affair admitted 2

[Ontheup]

well this weekend has been the most emotional 2 days i have ever had.
It stems back to Friday when me and my wife started talking when i had asked her not to lie to me anymore. From this stemmed talks about us and R and D8 and pretty much everything. There was no begging, pleading or dictating from me. It did culminate in us talking to each other like we havent talked for years.

We both took D8 to horse riding this weekend which was nice. My wife was visibly upset though. When we got back we spent time talking to each other. She is in a lot of pain. She was crying a lot and very emotional. I think reality of what we have done has hit home hard this weekend. This continued on and off all day. Every time she looked at me she started crying and said she felt terrible and sick. I tried to reassure we would be ok but im also struggling.
In the evening we were up till 1am just talking. She is very upset. She is worried about D8. she is worried about me. She is worried about herself. I have never seen her so upset. im actually very worried about her.
We talked about reconciling , seperating, she wants to put her rings back on, she doesnt want her rings back on, she still loves me , she doenst know what she feels. She was reading relate about success stories asking how can we fix it what do i want her to do it just went on and on. She is very confused and very messed up.
She talked about how she wished we had had another child which i said i wish we had as well but it doenst matter now. its history. She got really upset saying its the one big regret she has. I said you could still have another child she said she wouldnt have a child with anyone else, she only wants one with me. Said she will never marry anyone else. Our wedding day was best day of her life. Now im listeing being supportive but what she is saying is killing me.
We hugged a lot I was just as supportive as i could be with her.
This carried over into sunday where again she was still very very down. Doesnt know what she wants.
She talked about her aunty who she has never been close to before but she is doing some work for my wife. She split up with her hubby a few years ago for 18months he was out doing his thing and she fell in love with someone else. Just as they were about to sign d papers they said wtf are we doing and have now reconciled.
She has told no one about OM. I told her she needs to speak to someone. Not me, not OM not her friends but someone independant who wont judge and can give her some advice. She said she is going to go and see a councillor. Her friend gave her some details of some. Thats up to her.


Its awful but we feel closer to each than we have done for a very long time just as we are about to seperate.

I have managed to secure this other house. So will be moving in a couple of weeks. I'm upset as our family will be differrent for ever but i know deep down this is what needs to be done. I need to let go of my wife. She has to find out what she wants to do and i need to move on.