wife during deployment EA/PA continued.

[Complex]

Same here. Was gone for work, got home last night, waking up this morning after having a dream about MC and that she wanted to try again...
Now I'm just where I was before I left, sad and I miss her like crazy
Need to get up and GAL...but I'd rather cry...

[RysinMn]

yeah complex it's like 1 step forward 10 steps back. Well at least that's how it feels. Seems like an eternity that I have not heard my W voice and longer since I saw her. It's a tough thing to wrap my head around. But I just gotta keep breathing, having a tough time traveling by myself. Since this is what we enjoyed most of all.

[RysinMn]

Well just landed back on oahu, have a massive feeling of anxiety coming on. Not sure why. but on the bright side I will start reading my book tonight. And the DR book is on the way. I'll check back in with my thoughts on the book

[Complex]

Good. I got out of the house the whole day today. It felt good.
I start feeling like things DO get better. It's an up and down but with time there is an improvement. And then you start knowing there will be another and another throwback...and you anticipate them and get more used to it.

But then there's still sooooo much stuff that needs to be figured out in the S and D process. It's not going to be easy. But the detachment will grow!!!
I hope you will feel the same little improvements...they are little but they are continuous...time is healer number 1

[RysinMn]

Got up this morning in an effort to do school work. Boy was i mistaken. I can focus. So I decided to get my but up and out on the bike. About to enjoy some ramen then maybe hit starbucks to do a little more homework. Probably a better place to do work then at home.

[Train]

Checking on you, Rysin. How are things?

[RysinMn]

Breathing I guess. Only talked to W once by text. Only to confirm my arrival back on island so she could inform house sitter. Things don't seem to be getting any better. I had a question about valentine's day. I guess even a card or a text is out of the question. Any advice on that. Unless she initiates right.

[Complex]

Asking myself the same question since a few days. I'd love to send her some flowers to work...but I won't.
I think we have to simply ignore this day. Or do sth fun by ourselves, to honor the love we should have for ourselves.

[RysinMn]

Think I'll take myself to the bar lol.

[Complex]

Ha. Alcohol is not the solution my friend
It's weird I never had less urge to get drunk than now. I don't feel like altering my mind bc I know it'd make me even more depressed.

Treat yourself with respect and only drink if it definitely won't affect your emotions, which is almost impossible in our situation.

Bottom line: I do still drink occasionally too lol ..I'm a lightweight tho