Stop giving him so much control of you. He knows he has you on the hook.
I wish I had (and I still never did nor have I now) but I wish I had detached sooner for me. I really do.
Looking back I remember people giving me similar advice and while I wanted to follow it I felt like I was giving up. Your H needs to be free to do his own thing. No more R things brought up. Treat him like a neighbor, laugh, sing, be silly and enjoy your children.
And thanks for the compliment I don't feel like a hero but if people can learn from my mistakes! Haha
I don't feel like a hero but if people can learn from my mistakes! Haha