My waking nightmare

[Lorelai]

Thanks, TO. I really appreciate the empathy and kindness, especially coming from one of my DB heroes! LOL.

H called back a little while ago to talk about a schedule change. He called right when I was in full-on sobs, so I had to gather my composure to talk to him. Before we got off the phone (I know this isn't DB) I said I still believe we have a chance. He said "That's very optimistic. It's good to be optimistic."

I'm not at all reading into anything he says right now. I have been HURT so bad and am in so much PAIN from watching for little signs like today when I saw that he was wearing his ring. Then I hear him say he doesn't want me to have a party for my 2-year-old because "We're getting divorced" and my heart sinks to my feet.

I feel so awful right now. A part of me feels like "Tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to go to bed, get up early, get more resumes out and land a full-time job and get on with my life as a single mother and forget about H. Yeah!" And another part feels like "I never want to get out of bed again." You guys don't have to tell me the part to listen to.