My waking nightmare

[Lorelai]

I feel like I am going to throw up. Just got off the phone with H who asked me why I sent out an evite to my daughter's second birthday party. He said his family is not going to come and that no one is going to want to be there with everything that's going on. I said what do you mean and he said "We're getting divorced!" I managed to stay calm, which H said he appreciated and he said several times during the conversation that he liked the way I was talking in terms of staying calm and not yelling or crying too much. I am so devastated. This divorce is definitely happening. My precious children, who I had because I wanted to share mine and H's "fun" life will have two homes, separate holidays and it looks like if H has his way, separate birthday parties.
H said he is reading a book, something like Mens guide to a reasonable divorce or something like that. Why the eff does he have to read a pro-divorce book?

I am not canceling my precious baby's birthday party. If it's just me and her, my 4 year old and a couple of neighbors, that will be fine. H can pick up the bill. Sorry for the anger spewing out of me tonight. I can't stop crying.