Aww... crap. Xh just left. He had to come here bc of s17. We had a convo, and he is such a kid. He was really acting like a child. Like sitting all slumped and looked like one. He really looked so pathetic and juvenile.
He pretty much said he is with hww. (No duh). But he's not moving in yet. Doesn't know what he wants. Doesn't know what it is about her. Has feelings for her, but has them for me. Pretty much wants to see if things will work out with her.
Does not want damage with the kids. Denial that it will happen. Talks so highly about her now.
Says he changed his mind since the baby.
He looks so run down and terrible.
I also asked if he thinks he will be happier there bc he was so miserable there all last year. He said yes, he was miserable. And thought for a min then said it was bc of the kids.
He really has good things to say about her now. Barf.
I don't get it. He says he does not know what he wants. I think that's true, but I also feel that right now he wants her. He just cant commit to saying it.
He says he likes staying there.
I don't know. In a way I feel a little better. I feel like at the very least there was a discussion... as messed up as it was. He was running though. When It got to real, he couldn't handle it. At all.
I mean, he just looks so terrible. I really feel like it is such a sick r with her. I really feel like it makes him feel good and bad at the same time and that's why he is in it. He feels badly, so he needs that to make him feel that way, but he feels good, too.
I think I was looking for closure. But he tried doing what he always does.. "I'm going to bil right now.." like he will be back.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME CRAZY! It's always open ended with him. He leaves it like he is coming back... gonna finish convo later... something... plan b... But I told him I just cant do that and not to leave it like that.
He is so screwed up tho that I can tell that he doesnt even know how to have a conversation or what to say. I don't think he can actually say the words.
