Seperated and she is with someone - I'm desperate

[vdubber]

Ok so today I screwed up and this should serve as a warning to others. My youngest son rode his bike to my house sayin older son wasn't answering texts from his mom. I said he was asleep as he was, gave my son a hug told him I loved him and he rode his bike back home. I knew W was trying to get a hold of older son to babysit as she asks him or i to do every Sunday she has kids. So I jump I'm shower and my phone starts exploding. I get out of shower and pounding on my door. I throw boxers and shirt on and it's W furious with me and yelling. I tell her she needs to leave but older son is now awake and comes out. I tell him his mom has been texting him and he needs to read and respond to her. He goes back in his bedroom. I make mistake of telling wife she is having affair. She storms off. Texting me that she hates me and will never come back so I need to move on. I guess she then texts my son and tells him about OM...He comes to me crying and we hug. I tell him I'm sorry he saw his mom and I arguing and that I love her and always will. He is angry with his mom and I just said I am sorry. She texts me to tell me she always did everything right and good and could never have an independent thought or feeling and now has to be independent or die so she is choosing independence.

On day 10 of NC and now all goes to sh*t. I made a huge mistake today.