Jim, I don't think you are aiming for cold, or to mirror her. Keep it subtle. If you asked how she was doing last time, don't ask next time. But don't be cold, just be busy with the kids etc and get them sorted. Maybe if you just focus on them and not on your W next time - not being unpleasant, but just not really engaging because you're getting the kids sorted..

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus