Complex #4 - D talk started / Detaching continues

[susana4]

Aaand back home and miserable^^...
It just sukks being here. Haven't seen her yet. She was here and left this morning. At least I got GAL plans for today.

No idea if she told her family like she said she would.
Did I get ahead of myself with my last post and an I thinking too much in advance? I'm still curious of finding the right balance of "love" and "acting in my own interest and standing tall"...

It's hard, I think it's ok to think in advance to an extent and plan for the future, but it's easy to get sucked into obsessing and "what if"-ing and then that doesn't do us any good.

I'm still curious of finding the right balance of "love" and "acting in my own interest and standing tall"... << What do you mean?

So now I basically need to find the right balance between "making W mad" and stretching D process and being a man only a fool would leave, which means I have to be mature about the S and to a certain extend agree on things.

Not an expert here but I've been going back and reading some old threads lately and from what I can see what seems to work best in many sitches (obviously not all are the same) is a stance something like: "While I don't agree with your decision, I do respect your choice BUT if you want to S you need to leave the house/I am not going to file for D that's down to you as it's your decision/etc." Basically, not instigating any part of the S or D process, because it's HER decision so she needs to take action on it. You don't agree with the decision, but you know you can't control her or stop her, so you won't stand in her way, but you certainly won't aid her.