Same here. Up and down constantly. It's normal. But toots is right, they become less frequent. Up = GAL, being away from W. Down = Being home, after contact with W, mornings, not eating enough.
Yes, except in my case I am up after seeing H, down when he's away, since our interactions are really pleasant.
I'd like to just even things out a bit, even if it's not up, just to feel a little more stable. But I'm guessing and hoping that will come with time.
Originally Posted By: Complex
Sometimes I just feel like 'How in the damn wide world can someone put you through this? Do they have any idea?' This selfishness is sickening but I know WAS is most likely miserable too.
Do you think it's selfishness, or self-preservation? I've read a few times elsewhere on the boards that the WAS is on a journey, too. They happen to have started their journey a little bit before us... And though it pains me it's happened this way, I try to remember my H is on a journey, and he's just trying to become the man he's meant to become. And so I remind myself not to try and hold him back from his journey (by begging, pleading, or guilting), but to let him go on it.
Even in the last few weeks, I can see some signs of changes he's making on his journey (becoming more self-aware, changing some of his people-pleasing habits), and I'm really impressed and really pleased for him.
OTOH, it's hard, because seeing him grow like this makes me love him more.
Originally Posted By: Complex
You started antidepressants? I heard it usually takes 2-6 weeks before they start working. I might get on some too. I'm at the point where I think it's worth a try because I feel like my life got sukked out of me. I'm not the same person.
It's worth discussing with your doctor and seeing what they think. Although at least in my case, it definitely seems to be a case of making it worse before it makes it better. Dr did warn me this would be the case for 2-3 weeks.
Btw - my dr recommended it in conjunction with IC (which I'd already started).
In my case, my doctor had recommended them 7 or 8 times in the last 8-10 months and I kept saying no. I've been grappling with anxiety and depression since the spring/summer due to problems at work, and tbh I was in denial about how bad they were. If anything, BD forced me to face the issues, because I could no longer lean on H. And whilst H denied it had anything to do with it, I do think my depression contributed to problems in the M.
Originally Posted By: Complex
Sunday should be big GAL day, or I usually fall into a deep whole, just being at home. I feel distant to W, but I'd love to fall in love with her again
What are your GAL plans?
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
