Hi Mighty, The things that you talk about that you are going to "miss" (like hanging with the grand kids together as a family) are the same ones we all think about. I had so looked forward to some day telling the grand kids stories of our life together, showing them how we had weathered the storms of life and had a love and M that stood through it all. Instead, just when we were so close to getting past the hardest parts of our lives, W had to go insane and find a reason to destroy our M.
These are the things that we will miss. The things that make losing such a long M, the destruction of a family so sad. These are the things that we will morn. But there is nothing we can do about it. That is the hardest part of this. The realization that we have absolutely zero control over what our crazy S's (or Ex S's as the case may be) do, say, think, destroy. We just don't. There are no magic words, no actions that we can take that will make a bit of a difference. The way you have handled all that your ExH has done is nothing short of amazing. You are a strong, caring, loving person who has stood tall through things that would have destroyed most people. You were there not only for a H who didn't deserve you but for your son and daughter as well. Be proud of that. Be proud that you did everything possible to try and save your M and family.
The anger comes from thinking that you can do something to change things. The sad fact is that until your H gets through his "crisis", until he realizes the damage he is causing himself and those around him and cares, there isn't a thing that will change . All you can do now is start to live your life for you and those you love (like your S and D). Learn to trust and love again. Understand that you have value and are light years better than HWW and exH will ever hope to be. Mighty, you have so much to offer anyone lucky enough to have you in their life. It's time for you to realize that your old H is gone and may never return. The world is in need of people like you Mighty. Don't let what your H has done cause the rest of the world miss out on greatness that is Mighty at her healthy best. Don't let them take your sprit and change who YOU are.
You will get through this, Mighty. All you need to do is not let them change who you are inside, where it counts. Give yourself some time to morn what you have lost but then, pick yourself up and be the real you!
