Okay I can't find where to edit my post and it was not helping others help myself so I will write down what was the problems and what has changed since.
*I let my appearance go to the point where I would not shower for days or change my clothes - I am back to taking two daily showers, clean clothes everyday, with hair styled etc. Nothing radical, just back to how I was before. We are farmers and overly dressed for everyday life would be very much out of place. I have been wearing nice dresses when I have gone out to town, something I did not do before. I have also lost 10kgs and am feel much more confident in my body.
*I neglected my family and home to the point I did not clean the house and left the feeding of our daughter up to my husband - Cleaning is done on a daily basis and I fully look after our daughter except every second weekend he has her.
*I could not have a disagreement without having to be right, I would fixate on things and would not let them go, push to the point where it would just blow up - Not a single argument with him or any other person in my life since November 2014. There have been disagreements, but all have been handled without an outburst, I know I don't have to be right all the time, I would rather pick my battles and be happy.
*Isolated myself from friends and family - reconnected with some friends, probably the most difficult part because when I moved here 13 years ago all his friends became mine, I have reconnected with a few, not able to socalise much with them though as the type of lifestyles they lead are extremely busy and they are hard to catch up with. I am joined a club, picked up a new hobby to get out and meet new people, having a 4yo does limit me as it is shooting and I cannot take her with me, so it's only when I do not have her and time/money constraints.
*I developed a serious spending/internet addiction - completely stopped the unnecessary spending and spending time on the internet. Unfortunately I am having to sell a lot of things to move and am finding I have to devote time back to the internet, not addictive behavior though, just what is necessary.
*I developed lots of health issues - all my health issues have disappeared since I have stopped taking the medication, both physically and mentally.
*My sex drive was killed off totally - returned to normal after the effects of the pill wore off.
GAL has probably been the biggest challenge. I am in a small town on a farm and a bit isolated. I have full time care of my 4 year old and family and friends are not close. I am admitting I am faking this until I make this happen, I do put on the illusion for my husband that I have a life outside of home, which is all I can do for the moment. In the middle of buying a house and moving because the family home does not belong jointly to us, it's owned by my husband and his family and I have been told to move.
Hope this information will help others help me. Thanks
