This can't be the end! #2

[Barry]

Thanks for responding Lisa,

In my opinion NO do not ask her for a list. In my opinion at this time you need to back off, don't ask her anything, don't talk about the relationship or anything like that. That is a big huge DB no-no.

I kind of knew that was the case as it means focusing on the past rather than the present or future to try and solve my/our problems in the M. I've obviously thought about this A LOT myself, and I've actually filled an A4 notebook with thoughts. These include my perception on my part in the M breakdown, and I have included my thoughts on what I thought my W's part in my feeling that way was too. It's interesting reading and I'm sure a therapist would have a field day with it.
There are lots of areas where there is scope for 180's for sure.

Eventually you may be able to have that talk and figure out how things went wrong but at this point you need to look inside yourself and figure out how Barry wants to improve Barry. What are some things you would like to change about yourself to make yourself smarter, stronger, better, funner?
(nice english huh?)

More fun lol! I know I need to work on myself, and yes, I know...for me. Because I'm in such emotional turmoil at the moment, some of the things I plan to do need to put on hold a little, I'm just not in the right place to be able to concentrate on some of it. I'm really trying to focus on my mental state right now as that's my biggest issue. I am on anti-depressants, I'm arranging to see an IC, and am attending an Emotional Wellbeing course at a local college which starts in a couple of weeks. I'm also working on my physical appearance. I'm not hugely overweight but I do need to lose a bit of weight and gain some muscle to get back to where I was when I felt good about myself. It helps with a PMA, and it's also helping me sleep. A longer term goal as part of this is to cycle the length of Britain (1000 miles) either later this year or more likely early 2016. I have been increasing my social circle and GALing as much as I can too.

Hope your day is going well!

I did buy a couple of items of clothing, but it was more to look at styles today as I don't want to spend too much on new clothes when I'm losing weight. My D15 and boyfriend coffee meet didn't happen, she asked me if we could do it another day, which is fine although I was looking forward to it. I'm about to have a fine steak dinner with my parents, and then I'm out to visit my sister and her family this evening. My W is out on the town tonight which although shouldn't be a concern to me, does prey on my mind so I'm off out to take my mind off it.

Spin cycling class at 9am tomorrow morning so won't be a late night for me. Still hoping to meet a friend for dinner tomorrow, and may well finish DB by Monday so most of my GAL activities should be able to be ticked off.
I am missing my two niece's joint birthday party tomorrow (my W's sister's children, who I haven't seen since around October) although I have sent cards and some money for each of them. It's those things that I miss, as well as my own family, wife, and home.

Barry.