This can't be the end! #2

[Barry]

Hi Mozza, there's quite a lot in your post to respond to..

Sorry for the long post

Do you know why you say that? Do you think we will be offended or bothered?

No - I'm just appreciative of people's time taken to read and keep up with my posts, particularly when I think they're long.

I suspect that your reaction will be "Oh, I shouldn't say that anymore"

No, I will continue to put that if I feel it appropriate.

The goal of my intervention is not to "teach" you how to write on these boards, which seems to be how you've taken some of the advice you've received (it does not surprise me)

I know it's not. I'm just trying to get my point across better in my posts.

It's about making you think about your personality traits and ultimately how it got you where you are today.

I know, and I am thinking about that...a lot.

Most likely, it feels so natural to you that you're not aware of it. It has worked with you so far and it has become your nature.

By definition, doesn't one's nature feel natural?

Here's a little joke that I heard from David Foster Wallace:
"There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, "Morning, boys, how's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, "What the hell is water?""

That's a very thought provoking story Mozza, one which I need to think more about before I give my reaction on it. What I can say right now is that I'm not in a good enough place to reflect on if the reality I see is actually the true reality. This is not The Matrix.
I, like most people see the world through the lens of self in general terms but I am also very concious of the world at large and the people in it. I do think of other people's reactions to my interactions, and of course I want people to see me in a good light, why would I not??

See what I mean about your communication? They are a reflection of how you think, of how you wish to interact with others, how you want others to react to you. It tells me that you try to appear as a very nice guy, one who doesn't want to be a bother, who's polite and a quick study. You probably read this sentence and think: "Yeah, what's wrong with that?" I wish you'd get started on NMMNG right away.

You're 100% correct, I DON'T see what's wrong with that. I AM a nice guy, I AM polite, I AM thoughtful of others feelings etc. I can't really comment at this stage (without reading NMMNG) as to how or why I would want to change that in any way. My W doesn't want to end our M because I'm a nice guy?

Sorry, I forgot (following too many people): are you seeing a therapist?

Not yet, I start seeing an IC very soon. I'm just waiting for confirmation of the first appointment.

Barry.