I'm not a runner Toots and have never wanted to be. At school I was always last of the fit and able kids. Just not interested in running. I am a cyclist although just a commuter cyclist. 11m a day, four days a week.
WAW, and very often S12, have picked me up from the station every week (if I'm on time) without a single complaint. I have been very appreciative of this even before bomb day.
I think (mind read :-) that the question this week was prompted by last weeks events when we had a 'discussion' about her staying out after a date. I don't think she feels at all guilty. I wish she'd read The Passion Trap, or 5LL, or HNHN or anything like that.
And I drive anyway. She is such a bad driver it makes me scared sometimes but I try to STFU about it.
GAL. Go shopping for running shoes. Cinema or bowling perhaps. Go for a walk or a run even. Try and hook up with my only local friend for coffee.
And still mulling. One of my fears is that because I have been working away from home for almost three years now, WAW won't bat an eyelid if I moved out. She's used to it now. She'd just think I can't hack it.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
WAW just asked if I want to use the car this afternoon as she wants to go to OM. Urgh! There goes another stab to the heart. I suppose they're getting less painful, but this is happening more and more frequently now. I'm not looking forward to Valentine's Day which is also her birthday next week.
I said yes as I want to go to see about some running shoes. S12 needs some trainers as well so now she says going to come. She said she'll go to see OM later. I know her football team is playing the local rivals in the early evening so she'll want to see that.
No cinema or bowling this evening for me and the boys then after all.
Last edited by Old Dog; 02/07/1512:58 PM.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
This is an area where you had an opportunity to lay a boundary. ALL your plans for the day got shifted because of her. Are you not capable of buying your own 12 yo son shoes? Why did she need to come along? And why could you not have said, "no need for you to join us, we have plans after. I can handle this."
Keep an eye out for things like this, OD.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Old Dog, who cares if she would bat an eye at your moving out or better yet HER moving out! I'm sorry she sounds like she is eating cake all day long. I think you need to tell her "listen, this situation with you dating while we live together is not working for me. Since it is your choice to do so, I suggest you find another place to live if you want to continue this behavior."
Old Dog, who cares if she would bat an eye at your moving out or better yet HER moving out! I'm sorry she sounds like she is eating cake all day long. I think you need to tell her "listen, this situation with you dating while we live together is not working for me. Since it is your choice to do so, I suggest you find another place to live if you want to continue this behavior."
That's my 2cents.
Absolutely OD.
There is a word in my dictionary that I am sending you as a gift as they missed it from your copy. That word is
NO
Vanilla
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hi OD, that sounds like a good idea. The DBers certainly seem to feel that boundaries may be helpful here. And only you know what you are comfortable is.
Reading your sitch, it certainly sounds to me as though your W is quite willing to openly date, and for you to know where she's going etc. My take is that she's checked out of the marriage, she has told you she's checked out - and so she feels this is perfectly okay.
On the other hand, you are here on this site, and wanting to save your M if it is possible - but she's just not a willing participant for that ATM. So, what do you do? I think it comes down to what you are willing to live with and tolerate. You have a choice of being in your home at weekends, and having the dating 'in your face' - or setting some boundaries which may mean it is less in your face - or choosing to live elsewhere at weekends - which may bring some respite from the dating, but has pros and cons.
I agree with the comment above. I wouldn't consider what your W may think of this. This decision is mainly one for you. Have you read no more mr nice guy? I don't know the content, but the title suggests it might be helpful right now....maybe others can chime in and verify that? Tx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
