MLC = my last chance

[123Gwen]

I have notice time passes differently right now. I guess it is just part of the rollercoaster ride. Also the feeling of loneliness on that roller coaster. For my entire adult life I had a partner beside me. The we is now a me.

D16 remarked how it would have been easier if he had died. I understand what she meant. The memories would have been frozen at a point where we were all happy. Of course I told her that as tough as this is death is final. There are no second chances to build a relationship. I told her love and reconciliation are possible and that is a silver lining. I asked he to keep open her heart for that possibility and that maybe they'd be able to connect again.

So the we is a me and people are starting to notice. The last 2 weekends have found me having to deal with his absence. It hurts and I think that it is a real catalyst for me.

This weekend I am going to lay low and regroup. I totally believe in GAL but right now there is nobody around to notice. I made great strides the last two months with the holidays and finding a job. Right now I just need to hibernate.