In my opinion NO do not ask her for a list. In my opinion at this time you need to back off, don't ask her anything, don't talk about the relationship or anything like that. That is a big huge DB no-no.
Eventually you may be able to have that talk and figure out how things went wrong but at this point you need to look inside yourself and figure out how Barry wants to improve Barry. What are some things you would like to change about yourself to make yourself smarter, stronger, better, funner? (nice english huh?)
