Any arguments were usually about money / chores. So I really bended my attitudes and behaviours towards her on these things. Probably with a large amount of resentment. Lots of romantic gestures. After considerable reading on these forums about the various things a H can do wrong, I would say I definitely fell into the "trying too hard and losing my own identity and her respect" camp. Hence my 180s of not being a doormat any more, setting boundaries, not doing way more than my fair share.