OK, so he's not my husband anymore. I need to remember that. He's not. Why do I forget that? He's not. I don't even need a discussion this time. What does it matter? Never had one before, so what is the difference now? Who needs closure. Closure is acceptance of what was and what is and what will be. He was my husband. He is not my husband, now. I don't know where I will or what I will be. I will be OK, I suppose. I'd like more than OK, but for now, that will have to do.
OK. So, he's not my husband. He is with her. They have a baby. Maybe they will be happy. Who knows? But, my husband is dead.
This guy is a horrible person. I don't want him. She can have him. Maybe he is being amazing for her. Perhaps this baby has turned him into this loving family guy. But... not with me. So accept it. Don't worry about it. Don't think about it.
Sick of goin' it alone. I feel like I won't ever get anyone. Like I will be alone forever. I'm sad that we won't enjoy watching our kids and someday grandkids together. That makes me VERY sad. To not enjoy my family with the man who I shared and created it with. That he thought this other crew was his family and more important. But, my husband is dead.
