I hear you about the whole control issue. We want to be in control because of how our lives spun out but yet there is something very comforting in being wanted and yes I think being somewhat controlled. This makes us feel wanted and loved or so we imagine.
I struggle with it too but right now I am just awash in grief and loss. I can't imagine a future. Tonight I feel so utterly alone. Intellectually I know I have much to be thankful for in my life but my heart is shattered.
From your posts you seem much more evolved than you think you are. I hope I can get to a place where you are as strong as you seem to be GB. It isn't perfection we are striving but rather honesty. Honesty is messy and real and beautifully imperfect.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
