KGirl - letting the past go

[KGirl]

Last thread locked - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2534535&page=11

I don't keep track of the numbers but labug's last post about remembering to not waste time on the past and trying to change things that can't be changed was a good reminder.. so I thought that would be a good thread title, to remind myself regularly

labug - yes, he IS very different. If I met him today he's not someone I'd be interested in dating, unless we spent a lot of time together and somehow liked each other through proximity, since that sometimes happens. If I think about today vs. 10 years ago, it's interesting how much things and people change.. but when you're in a relationship on a day-to-day basis you don't really see it. Add that to the fact that we were basically kids when we started dating and had not yet grew into who we would be as adults... we've taken some different paths and chosen different priorities.

Maybelle - When we talked we were in a group of 8 people, but things we had in common were:
-he is a police officer and criminal justice is near and dear to me. It's what I studied as an undergrad (major in Legal Studies, minor in criminal justice), I did a lot of CJ-related internships including some in law enforcement, and really thought I'd work in law enforcement or corrections later on. But, as we well know, happenstance jumps in and sometimes takes us in a different direction! We talked about anecdotes and stories related to that.
-I currently work in higher education, which is what his master's degree is in and what he worked in before becoming a police officer (slightly different areas but we have that student affairs background/training in common)
-and.... that's about it. Mostly it was group talk, introducing people to others, random conversation.

I gathered from facebook he likes outdoorsy things (fishing, camping, snow-shoeing). I haven't really done a lot of that.. but would be interested in trying some of it (not fishing, fish creep me out). But since that's not really anything we talked about that would be kind of weird, unless I really got one of my mutual friends to work it for me "So K mentioned she'd really like to try skiing, and since you do ski patrol at the local hill, would you be interested in showing her the ropes?"

When I think about people that have been very forward and said things to me like "you're cute, want to hang out?" or like my stalker guy, I've always reacted negatively and thought they were creepy, so I don't want this guy to think I'm creepy. But maybe those guys really WERE just creepy and I could tell that.

I do want to make sure I worked through what I need to work through before getting into dating. How do you know when you've done the work you need to do? Can you ever really be "done" or is it just ongoing (and then how do you know you've done "enough" to not make the same mistakes in your next relationship?) Something I've mentioned before is not making the mistake of sticking with someone who I am way more into than they are into me and feeling like I have to force them to love me... I worry that pursuing someone I don't know well is in that same vein and will lead to similar end results.