Its been a long time since I last posted. Needed to get away for awhile. Things still aren't where I would optimally be. STBXW doesn't show any signs of ever wanting to get back to together. And I have no expectations that will ever happen.
The Lawyer costs are adding up and it looks like I will have to go to court to try to get the kids 50/50.
Plus side. I don't think about her much anymore. I have been spending a great deal of time with friends and enjoying it. I do get really lonely and sad from time to time but it is getting less and less. One of the reasons that I was scared and I was holding on to the marriage was that I thought I was "damaged goods" Who would want a 35 year old guy with 3 kids. Turns out quite a bit. I have lots of friends trying to set me up with other women. I have been out with friends and have been hit on by good looking younger women. I am not ready for anything yet. But it does sure help with the confidence.
In the last month I have done several things to keep my mind off things. I went to a friends wedding in Mexico where I went bungy jumping, deep sea fishing (caught a 7 ft marlin), went jet skiing in 10 ft waves in the ocean and spent lots of time just catching up with old friends.
So things are not great but are getting better. I am still treating my STBXW with love and respect(not getting much in return). But I am not caving into anything. I do what I think is best for me and for the kids.
M:35 W 31 D's:6, 4 & 2 T:9 M:7 ILYBNILWY- Mar/14 DP Served Dec.17/14
