Hugs to you. I get it. The wistful feelings and abrupt changes, the feelings you describe - those were the ones that were the hardest of all, even beyond missing H. Photo albums, artifacts from life, and this sense of a bad dream. I am still having nightmares around it all. Like a type of PTSD in its own right.
I am wishing you humor where you can find it, and some great nights out!
And the quote "you can't reach for tomorrow when your hands are full of yesterday's junk," helped me when I was down about it all and wanting to get free. I share it as something that may also help you shake off those moments of melancholy. I remembered all the memories I had put to rest with serious ex bfs before and reminded myself that it could be done, and in fact there always was something better and truer to me up ahead after one of those relationships.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
