She is dependent on everyone else around her to provide for her needs (including d17 and s13 who live with her).
And this is NOT helping HER. It's enabling her to remain in an immature, adolescent state.
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So why do I say that I am messed up, even with this healthier understanding of my past? B/c I don't mind that W is a gadfly, and perhaps is looking for a "sugar daddy" (no mind-reading by me here, I don't know what W is looking for.) I appreciate her for her other strengths.
This is interesting...why is that, that you don't mind?
Is it because that is all that is left of your former provider/protector role, those last shreds of something you cherished, and will not let go of?
That maybe you are having problems transitioning from that role?
I know I sure did...and it gave me some appreciation for what my stbxw went/is going through, transitioning from her role as a young Mom with young kids that needed her most of the time, to having the kids not need her as much, being teens, growing independent, having a cherished role taken away. And the "what to do with myself now".
I get where you are coming from Wet, I really do. Been there, was that.
But she fired you.
Do you hang around former employers waiting for them to maybe give you something?
Or do "freebies" for them?
And what exactly are her "other strengths" that benefit/enhance/contribute to the kids and/or you, right now?
There is an addictive quality to how ours spouses were and our reaction to them other the years... are you waiting for just another hit/fix?
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
