Thanks for all the responses I figured that I would get a few responses with the ring question. You guys all have very good points. I guess the jury is still out on this one.... SRD I can def relate there, my W took hers off before we had actually filed anything... and it really did hurt. Before that she had taken off a necklace that I had given her. I think that hurt just as much because it represented me, her, and out daughters. She basically hadn't take it off since I gave it to her 7 years ago.
Mahhhty, I think that is why up until now I have left it on. Right along the same reasons that you listed, defiance, symbol that I still hold out hope, and lastly that when I take it off and she notices that it might make an impact. Honestly I think on that last one falls into that big old sphere of control. That by somehow me taking it off means that a light will pop on in her head and bam things will come back together. The truth is that this probably will not happen... I guess it could happen... but probably won't.
Cadet, and Linda as always you words certainly bare a lot of weight and I appreciate them. This whole ring things is definetely I very personal one, and one I think I'm not ready to answer yet... The reality is that the divorce papers are filed, she is moving out in a week, and right now at this moment there appears to be no hope on the marriage front. I know that can alway change but acceptance is also a good thing. It lets me simply let go of that aspect on my life and focus more intently on making things better for me. You two can rest assured that I'm not about to hop into any kind of relationship right now. It certainly feels nice to have some attractive women take notice and feel confident enough to talk with them. But I'm not interested in any new relationship right now, I've still got work to do on my end.
It is however a nice distraction form whats going on at home. Honestly I feel I just need my space, the BS and her storm continues. I've got a pretty good raincoat on but the spew is getting pretty thick and gooey.... and I'm tired of being covered in it. Her denial is so multifaceted that sometimes I'm not sure what is going on, and because of that I think it is probably best just to have some distance. Also by her moving out she might, or might not have to talk taking a look at her demons, and like we have talked about Linda, its best if she do that where I can't see it so I don't feel like jumping in to fix things.
BTW I love the idea of naming threads after songs... I might just have to borrow that one!!!
M:34 W:34 D:8 D:5 M:10 T:15 BD: 10/10/14 D filed: 10/21/14 PA/EA:09/2013 EA:09/2014 - on going (online)
