Was the past 18 years just a waste?

[susana4]

Hi June,
Apologies I haven't caught up on your thread in awhile!

First off - don't give up! What do you feel like giving up on?

I know it's really hard and it's awful being stuck in limbo but it hasn't been that long, give it some time.

In the meantime, do you have anyone else you can talk to? I know it's really hard not being able to talk to your H about yourself (I feel like that too). I've found it really helps being able to speak to other people about your feelings, have you considered counselling? It's really nice having someone who will just sit and listen to you without judgment.

I have been "off" in the past several days. Just survived my 14th anniversary by having dinner alone. He called and texted but I ignored him. He then sent me pictures of my dogs waiting by the front door. I texted back said be home in 1/2 hour. We did not say much when I got back but he did not seem upset.

Sorry, I know I'm late on this but I know you said before you H complained you were too independent, so I'm wondering if ignoring his calls and texts were the right way to go here. You also mentioned him offering to drive you and you said no. I don't know if others will disagree, but I think since in these instances he's been reaching out to you and offering, it's not pursuing and you could take him up on his offers. Especially since he's said you were too independent, it might help him to see that you are willing to accept his help.