Susana (2) - Learning to detach

[susana4]

I need some help. I've been thinking a lot recently how I never apologised to H, and I don't know if I should.

I went straight from begging and blaming to never initiating R talks and trying to be upbeat all the time, once I discovered DBing.

It must have seemed really weird to H, actually! I spent a month pleading him to stay, and telling him the end of the M was all his fault, and he was just going to repeat the same mistakes over and over because he never tried to work on them, etc. etc. Lots of anger and blame. Then, I read DR while he was visiting his family for the week, and since he came back (that was the beginning of Jan):
-I haven't initiated any R talks, and we haven't had any
-We haven't had any arguments
-I haven't criticised him

*But* I also never apologised to him for any of my part in the problems, because I knew better than to initiate R talks. Nor have I ever said to him anything along the lines of "I don't agree with it but I understand your decision".

I know actions speak louder than words, but is it worth telling him sorry? It makes me a bit sad I never got a chance to. I don't want to get into an R talk though, because I know it's not productive or good for either of us...