Haha! uR... I meant pretty in my actions and behavior. I have no idea what I looked like on the outside. Good, bad... whatever.
You are right! I am coming to terms with things... slowly. But, the thinking- I get it. Terrible and doing no good. Those thoughts serve no purpose only to set myself up for disappointment. I am admitting, to myself, that I did have them. I was in denial, I think.
Peeling back the layers. Recognizing the destructive thoughts and patterns... letting them fall away. Well.... more like ripping them off while kicking and screaming, slamming them to the floor, then jumping on them. A few words through the dialect of a truck driver... dusting off my shoulder... then looking at the next layer.
Have I ever mentioned how graceful I am?
uR, "He isn't worthy of you right now." You are right. Nor do I want to be in that cycle of chaos. He can leave all that mess for her. And she for him. I feel quite fine with that.
Ahem... me. OK, me. Had a nice chat with my mom tonight. She really knows her stuff. I don't use her enough, but she is so wise. She has been through this stuff. And she is a reader and spiritual, and so knowledgeable and intuitive.
It's kind of weird, you would think she was a vet of these boards. She always says the exact same things, gives the same advice which has graced these boards for years... like the bible. Plus, she is so positive, uplifting, motivated, and has amazing energy and strength. Everyone in town calls her a saint. She never stops moving and is always doing for others.
She had emailed me a video clip, An Interview with God. It is short but nice. Just thought I'd share.
Ellie- my hands are free... I'm tending to the rope burn. The last time I will have it.
