If we own the story then we can write the ending

[RosaLinda]

That's a great song Andy. I got in the habit of naming my threads after songs which represented how ever I was feeling at the time. They ran the gamut from brokenhearted (You gave away the things you love) to strong (I will survive) LOL. "Really don't care" would make an excellent thread title

I'm glad that you are working hard on letting go. I think letting go is the hardest thing for all of us. Letting go of the person we loved so much, of all of our dreams and expectations for a happy and financially stable future full of love and fun and kids and grand kids. Damn expectations LOL. URWorthy gave me a visual image of me holding onto my ex's pant leg, dragging me around on the ground after him, to help me understand that my ex really did not love me any more and did not want to be married, and that I needed to let go and allow him to complete his journey on his own. I'm thinking he is not done yet, not by a long shot, don't you agree?

If there is a question of why take it off... again I feel a bit silly with it on, if the other person and what it represents is gone/lost/ checked out right now. Also I can't help but think right now, as I sit across from a pretty woman, taking it off lets me go and talk to her.

I took my wedding ring off the day we decided to file for divorce, December 4, 2013. Like Cadet, my bomb was a long time ago, December 2009. I'd always hoped that my ex would wake up some day, because his affairs seemed more like fantasies to me, with all the women EAs in Russia, but this current OW (his fiancee LOL) is different. I guess I knew my marriage was over when he went to visit her, and still was infatuated after living in Moscow for a month. To me, that marked the end of that chapter in my life, but I kept wearing my ring until we decided to divorce. I miss it though, because it was sparkly and pretty, so I am wearing a beautiful opal ring instead. My finger felt sort of bare after 38 years.

Andy, please please please do not start a new relationship until you have healed from your marriage. I know it's probably a big temptation, especially if women are noticing the new ASFD you, but please believe me, you will just be setting yourself up for more heart ache if you do. Plus, I have always felt that people who get into relationships while they are still married are really doing the exact same thing their husband or wife did, having an affair.