Yeah you are spinning a bit, I feel it ... only reasons is .. I have been there. I would spin on my way to drop S off at her new place, I would spin upon entering the place, this is normal. Give yourself some credit .... you were Hiroshima'd and you are still dazed from the fall out and trying to deal with being a good parnet while still struggling with the emotional stuff thrown in for good measure.
So lets get you thinking about something else ... the DB stuff still pertains to us over here in MLC-ville, at times I think we forget that as its really easy to toss on a "I'm with the MLC'r----->" T shirt and call it a day. Are you doing any GAL's? I think out of the 3 (PMA,180,GAL's) the GAL for use LBS of the MLC variety is the most important ... I realize you have your hands full with the kids ... I have included my S in my GAL activities. He has finally learned to ride his bike .. so he rides while his dad jogs/dies beside him. I also think of things we can do out ... his baseball started up, as my football and softball games .. we support each other .. Think of things you can do that are good for you and your soul if you can not get out alone.
The prayer thing. Reading about your moment made me think of something I heard about .. have done several times (not as many as I'd like but need to). So if you can, get outside ... start with just your basic prayer of thanking Him for His Blessings. Then ask for him to give you clarity and strength, after that ... just take 5-10 minutes and sit in silence, let your mind body and soul just be, sometimes you can get a better feel what He wants from you if you can get quiet and hear Him.
Rooting you on ... you are doing great.
CaliGuy -- Thanks so much for the words of encouragement :-)
Yes -- definitely trying to GAL as much as possible. For example, just got back from a fun lunch with a good friend who works at the school district admin building. We had lunch at the building -- which kills a couple of birds with one stone: 1) Puts me in a position to run into people who might be hiring and 2) gives my friend and I some time to just chat and give each other support for our own situations (she also recently ended R with her W and they have a son together)... And we are trying to schedule these lunches weekly because we both enjoy them and because it gives me more opportunities to meet folks at the district. Also trying to spend quality time with the kids as part of my GAL'ing :-)
I love the prayer idea -- thank you so much for sharing that with me. I am definitely going to try that starting today. :-)
