This can't be the end! #2

[Barry]

Hi all.
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone here who has taken time to help me in the last few weeks, I really do appreciate it.

Mozza, if I could just answer one of your questions above "What are the steps I see on the path to R". No, I don't expect there to be an easy fix to this. We've been through a sitch like this before (to a lesser extent admittedly) and although the underlying issues were obviously not addressed correctly, I do know it's hard work.
I would say that over the next "X" months, we would need to get to know each other again, as the people we've become. That's of course after we both figure out who we are for ourselves!! I'm sure there'll be lots of small steps to take before any talk of R, or "dating" can take place, and there'll have to be some very honest talk of each other's boundries. Maybe we won't/can't accept each other's, maybe we can...I don't know at this stage.

No change with W's views on things at this time, had NC since Saturday, but did meet with her this evening to sort out a financial matter and to discuss issues that S13 is having at school. There were some problems with him before the S, but it appears to have stepped up since. We've both spoken to him individually but were really just checking that we're both singing from the same hymn sheet...(we are).

There was some general chit chat about her night out last week, and she couldn't resist telling me that she's out this weekend too with her work colleagues (most of whom are around 10 years younger) who had told her she had to go). I'm sure it was meant to bug me as I have had controlling issues with the "clubbing" nights before. Not so much because she was going and I thought she would get up to anything untoward,, more that we never did it ourselves. My usual attitude towards it used to be.."No problem with it, but when is our turn?". I just said "that's nice, have a good time".

I did tell her she looked well, and that she looked slimmer (she does). She looked very attractive truth be told but of course, I don't voice this.

She didnt ask about what I'd been up to. This could stem from the fact that in our M, I've always been "the talker" out of the two, and I would usually be more than comfortable in letting her know about my recent GAL activities. At the end of the day, they are for me so if she doesn't ask, I won't bring it up. Bit of a 180 for me.

I did tell her that I'd managed to arrange for some IC through my employer (she already knew about me attending the Emotional Wellbeing course which starts in a couple of weeks time). She was glad that I've arranged the IC (that was something I would never have done before). Actually, she did ask if my meds were helping and one of the kids must have told her I haven't been sleeping well as she asked about that too (so not all negative!). I am looking forward to the IC, I think it will help me. I'm still hiding my pain and emotions under a very thin mask.

Still reading DB, and have already identified some of the relatable issues we've had in our M. I continue to wear my ring (she doesn't) so she knows I'm standing. She's well aware that I don't want this at all.

All in all, not a bad meet up.

Barry