I ignore that and I reply... "Hello W. I prefer the change request tracking on the new calendar thanks. I'll look for the calendar there to confirm it later today."
She says... "Will do my best. Thanks."
^^ That was calm and firm. Now it's her turn to make that happen.
Originally Posted By: HPoirot
So... part of DBing means I don't look to control her and I don't look to teach her life lessons.
That is the delicate balance one learns during the course of DBing and I think you can do this.
Originally Posted By: HPoirot
My approach is not working. How do I get this and every other "I can't/haven't done it" from W done?
I agree that it wasn't working previously until you sent that calm and firm text. This is a first for you and if you keep at it, she will have no choice but work with you. Otherwise she comes out as being "obstructionist" and "uncooperative." My gut instinct is that W really, really doesn't want S12 to see the schedule for she knows that she'll have to answer to him if she makes more changes.
Now, if you really want to ensure that W "cooperates", my suggestion is to keep track of your requests (original one) with date and make notations next to it on the type of excuse W comes up with. Then make another notation of a second reminder...along with whatever notation of "excuses" W comes up with (with dates).
That is the hard data that you can bring to the IC where you can discuss this out in the open with W. Let IC work with W on this by confronting her on her inconsistency and its impact on you and S12. You would want IC to do this so that takes the "heat" away from you.
I'd schedule a session with IC where both you and W can attend together since IC extended an invitation to you two, right? My recommendation is to schedule the session two weeks from now to allow you to compile enough "evidence" of W's avoidance from simple co-parenting tasks such as putting up a shared schedule.
Trust me...W will shape up FAST after the IC session where her actions will be called out by the IC.
