Seperated and she is with someone - I'm desperate

[vdubber]

Thank you Paul. I think in my heart I know this, i just have a hard time getting myself to believe and I'm being too impatient in the process for fear she will slip away forever. I am extremely lonely but I don't want to be stupid and do anything to hurt my chances of a future reunion plus I have a huge conscience and i am just not capable of certain things. I just want to hit the phase of us speaking so I can validate and be the 180 of what wasn't working. To get a hug or kiss on the cheek or glance that let's me know I'm not just anybody to her.

I understand this is my mind racing ahead of the process. I believe true love is worth fighting for, I believe that love conquers all, that the important things in life are worth fighting for. Walking away is easy, fighting for what you believe in and want in life is what can define who we are. I want to believe that one person can save a marriage but ultimately it takes 2 to reconcile.

I have renewed faith in God and do believe all things are possible. I know I am a good man and she does as well. A couple weeks ago when I had texted her goodnight as I always had prior to NC, she responded with "goodnight Pookie" (her pet name for me) and "I appreciate your heart so so much, you just don't understand ". I've thought alot about that text as it both contained a heartfelt message of her appreciation for me as well as told me there is something she was struggling with that distanced her from me. I suppose it was the OM that I didn't know about until recently. I don't know if i should take hope from that or not. These days I just want to find some bit of hope to cling onto...to know there is something there no matter how small.