I'm w/Happy on this one. Give him a drop dead date for having his stuff removed from the home. What might work is ask him for a list of things he wants, have them set out in a room and then he can pick them up. This coming and going and taking things on a whim is crazy.
As for the friend being there....oh, no.....especially if he's a convicted felon who has a history of being a thief. He would not be allowed in my home when I wasn't there.
As I have suggested before, you are going to need to change the locks or the alarm code. Your h is really getting a bit nutty about constantly coming there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
