Moving On - LisaB

[LisaB]

Hi friends, my previous thread locked so I thought I'd start a new one.

Quick summary: BD and move out in early July. He had EA with OW that quickly turned into PA after BD. She didn't want a serious relationship and he pined over her a bit and started dating multiple OWs. However, he tried to keep me close all along. I mostly maintained a distant stance and NC from my end. Got tired of cake eating in November and now we barely communicate. I think there is a new OW now.

I'm struggling a bit my friends.

On the one hand I am happier without him. I see now that I was not 100% my self in the relationship, that I was bored and unhappy and perhaps subconsciously hoping for a way out. But our relationship was not bad. It was very loving and warm and easy. It was just too stiffling and boring.

Now we have been apart for 8 months. I have had to contend with a lot of jealousy since he is galavanting around town with OWs who are significantly younger and more beautiful than I am. That has been very hard for me. However he has repeatedly expressed that he is very unhappy and lonely and sad so I guess all the galavanting isn't really doing him good.

I have never had a GAL problem. I have a ton of friends and a busy and exciting life that many would envy. I guess it helps more than if I had no friends but honestly I still feel down.

Is more GAL the answer? I have traveled, I have met new people, I have tried new things, I have even dabbled at dating. But I still feel sad and my thoughts turn to him often.

In the past the only thing that has really helped me forget a previous partner was to meet a new love, a new crush. Someone new to forget the old. Is that the only answer? If so, how can I do that? I am so tired of the pain.

I believe that WAH has now started dating a new OW. I have a few pieces of evidence that lead me to believe this. It is again someone I know and am friendly with, an acquaintance I met through him. I know that he has liked her at least since BD if not before. He told a mutual friend that he was interested in her and a few months ago when he spoke of her to me his eyes lit up. She is a good person, clever and attractive.

It upsets me that it upsets me. It also bothers me that he seems to have no problem finding new relationships while I am still heartbroken.

Oh friends, do you have advice for me? As I said I am mostly going about my business, seeming amazing and GALing away. What else can I do to move on?

Hugs, Lisa