Life 2.0 Pt 4

[NH115]

Sandi, I haven't thought about anger management classes, but I have thought about IC. I've brought my anger up in MC, that was when our C suggested the idea of the time out.

For my W, any time I suggest boundaries on what we can discuss, that's me trying to control too much. She doesn't see how we can talk about our problems with mentioning OM. I don't want to prohibit ever mentioning OM, but I don't need the story of how he made her feel for the 1000th time. She doesn't really say it in a gushing way, but she does it knowing what it does to me. Of course, my insistence on boundaries is a sign of weakness on my part; that I can't handle dealing with uncomfortable subjects. Because all our other issues are fun to talk about I can't get a bead on what she wants. She insists that the A was a result of our problems and not a cause (I agree), but she still makes it too much a feature of our R discussions.

We're meeting in MC once a week. No, that's not enough for W. She wants to talk way too much. Her basic attitude is that if she's in a bad frame of mind, then I need to drop everything and discuss it with her. Anything less means I don't really care and she feels farther away from me. I made the mistake of asking her how she was doing a couple of nights ago; I won't do that again. Yesterday was actually a good day, but I could tell she was tense when she left this morning for work. I didn't ask, I just carried on like I was having a good morning.

I didn't read the "groveling" thing anywhere. That was just the feeling I had the other morning after our big blowup when she was telling me that I needed to figure out how to connect with her emotionally, rather than logically. She has an excellent point, but at the time it felt like she was telling me what I needed to do. Her words were respectful, but I heard it in her tone. I'd like to know just what the hell is she trying to do to reconnect with me?