Just curious if you have ever been to any anger management classes? And if not, why?
Does the subject come up in MC sessions (about your anger)?

The C has said not to have R talks outside of the MC sessions. You don't seem to be having the sessions often enough for your W to feel satisfied without talking more about it. I don't really know the solution other than waiting until she's not in a mood and then explain to her that the two of you are at a cross road here. For her, it is about connecting through verbal communication. For you, it is about respect and honor. Neither of you are getting what you need.

You can no longer listen to her talk about the A, b/c it reminds you of how she dishonored her wedding vows. You go crazy when she carries on over the OM, b/c it disrespects you. Somehow she has got to meet you half way. She is not the only one who is suffering. Why is the MC not getting her attention about this? Your W is not working with you or the MC by having a R talk almost every day.

My H would never argue, so we didn't fight. If I started to raise my voice or begin getting angry, he would leave. It drove me nuts! I wanted to let him have it with my anger and frustration, but he would wait until he knew I had time to cool down before he came back. I think it was better than doing like you and your W screaming and cursing at each other.

Maybe you need to try walking away and staying gone till the anger is gone. Even if it's overnight or a week.

Quote:
She's the one who had the A, and I'm the one having to grovel to try and win her back. WTF?" I know that's the wrong attitude to have; I'm working through it.


No, you do NOT have to grovel! Who told you that? Where did you read that? It your own belief that is saying it, b/c you FEEL like you are groveling in an attempt to win her back.......while she yells "FU" to your face.

All I know for sure is you are NOT working through it, like you say. Both of you are in crisis and this is not working for either of you. Do something different.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!