OK I just need a chat, Im not sure what to think

[totite]

Welcome. You definately belong here on the BB and may want to read in both newcomers and here is piecing.

One suggestion is to break up your posts into small chunks of print as it is easier to read.

Your H is at home still and does talk of a future, so you should act "AS IF" there is a future and go with it. Be careful in questioning him out loud when he references the future - just make note in your head. Sure, respond if he asks for input, but otherwise, the less said the better. It can be perceived as pursuing behavior.

Try to figure out the reasons that the two of you reached this point, and then do your part to do some "180's" to try to change them. The fact that your H is willing to see a C is great as many won't.

Get past any resentments that you have about his part in your R not being so great, you can't control him, only you. Changes on your part will, in turn, create changes in him.

Others will give you even more advice than this - this BB is a great place for encouragement, support, caring and the occassional 2x4 on the head.

Come here to vent or ask before you act. Don't give in to impulsive behavior - ask yourself "will this get me closer to my goal of _____?" before acting. If the answer is no - then don't do it.

In the meantime, stay strong and take care of you!