Can't remember if it's been discussed before... aspergers?
Sounds like a evaluation will help, but don't settle for something like adhd. Push for more specifics (spring for a more nuanced eval if needed). You've named it, she's named it. She cannot control her behaviors, and she does not know why she acts the way she does.
if she could behave appropriately, she would.
Consequences will not teach her the skills she lacks.
Make this your mantra, if only to help you feel more patient and compassionate: if she could, she would. As hard as it is on you when she is out of control...consider how much harder it must be for her. Right?
I think you are a great mom, and I can tell this is painful--particularly feeling like you are in it alone. Your daughter is lucky to have such a reflective, proactive, capable mom.
