Don't beat yourself up too much HP. We all backslide. The important thing is to Lear to recognise patterns and change our behaviour. We only have control over ourselves.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.