She got in trouble again today, albeit minor but still. Jeez.
The reality is this kid is just not normal. Even the teacher and the principal have said they've never met a child like her. She taught herself to read before she was 3. She speaks with a 10th grade vocabulary. She understands things that typical children her age don't even think to ask about. She genuinely cannot control certain parts of her behavior. It's not an excuse. She simply cannot. I don't know how to help her learn how to. I have done EVERYTHING and before the separation, I did it ALONE.
I texted stbx about meeting to talk about consequences with her today after school. I just got back from that meeting which was worthless.
She just shuts down (because she's SEVEN) and I get nowhere with her. She doesn't know why she's doing these things and can't explain her behavior at all.
So what does stbx say while she's completely checked out? He talks about how the only option "we" have left is boarding school. WHAT?! When did THAT become an option and I don't parent with threats. WTF?! Then he proceeds to say "you're going to be ok" to her which is PRECISELY what he said to her when we announced our separation. I almost decked him. I swear, he almost got to eat my fist right there at starbucks.
In the end, I left. I was flooding with anger over stbx's boarding school threat and his "you're going to be ok" which means absolutely NOTHING.
I just got home and he now calls me and wants to know "what that was about". I explained that she had checked out and wasn't listening, that I'm tired of every good moment I have to spend with her it's spent discussing her behavior and enforcing consequences. I told him that we didn't even get to the goal of the conversation which was to discuss consequences because of his arbitrary threat of boarding school which will now be a fear she will carry around. Great. Thanks for that.
His response? "oh it's me you're mad at".
I am proud of myself for not telling him I was just going to file out of anger right then and there. It would have been petty and childish but man, I wanted to.
This kid though... I just can't get close to her. I can't break into her head and figure out what is going on. It seems no one can so I really am pinning my hopes that testing really helps us out because I am at the very end of my rope with all of this with D7.
And stbx is not known for his consistency. He's punitive and arbitrary, nagging and belittling. AND HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS AT HER LIKE A DOG WHEN SHE'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION. I have to look away when he does stuff like that because I'm afraid I might actually shoot lasers out of my eyeballs into his skull.
yoga and then I'm meeting with a friend... I need to get rid of this anger at stbx about his parenting.
Off to find my (calm) voice and google Ross Greene.
