I will survive

[RosaLinda]

Lots of goings on here on Long Island! My poor ex is still such a lot soul that it sort of breaks my heart. When I last reported in, he and the Russian Tramp were still living together in Moscow, but were considering moving to Chile, because RT has a cousin who was happy there. They apparently decided this might not be such a good thing for them, possibly because neither speaks Spanish. Although not being fluent in Russian did not deter him from moving there! He has been emailing me about once a week. I occasionally replied, not always.

Then he informed me that he was flying back to New York the first week in January, because he needed to leave Russia every 6 months to keep his 3 year work visa valid. This did not make much sense to me but I know next to nothing about Russian immigration rules. When he arrived, he told me, via email, that he had come back because Russia had changed so much from when he went to visit RT in 2013, and he just was not happy there. He said RT is a lot like his mom, very aggressive and assertive and bossy; he described their relationship as a "love-hate" relationship.

Next, ex decided to try to feel me out/guilt me into letting him come live with me again. First he tried telling me that he is a changed man. He said that he still loves me, realizes that he was very unhappy and confused, and regrets running away instead of trying to make things better between us. He apologized for moving to Moscow, but not for his affairs. He sent me roses. I wrote back thanking him for the flowers, and said they made me a little uncomfortable, and I would respond to his email in a day or two. He sent a rather nasty reply saying he could not believe how much I had changed in 5 months, and that our divorce is just a piece of paper, and we are still married in the eyes of God, and that I am still "flesh of his flesh."

That sort of ticked me off, but I wrote him a nice reply, telling him that I have truly moved on and am happy with my new life. I told him that I have changed a lot, but that these changes had not just happened since he moved - they started back in Dec 2009 when he told me he does not love me any more, and most had occurred in Dec 2013 when I got strong enough to give him an ultimatum to choose between RT and me, and he chose her. He wrote back that my email was confusing and erroneous. WTF?

Next I got a few friendly emails, and we saw each other for the first time last night at his mother's birthday dinner. He told me that he misses our old house and town very much, but will be content with just being my friend.

Now today, he told me that he decided that he does not want to be alone, and since I will not take him back, he has decided to MARRY RT so she can get a permanent visa and come over here and live with him. Which, in my view, is what she has wanted all along.

He is actually going to marry that woman. The woman who talked him into eating rotten oatmeal instead of taking antibiotics for his neurological Lymes disease. The woman who had to tell him she had contracted gonorrhea but claimed it was from a toilet seat. The woman who can never admit that she is wrong or does not know something, whom he described as aggressive, assertive and bossy. Double WTF!?

This makes me incredibly sad. I really would love to see him happy, healthy and sane again. To top it all off, my 29 year old son told me last night that he has been blaming himself for our divorce. He was already aware that his dad had a bunch of affairs, so this was horribly upsetting and confusing to me. I reassured him that it all had nothing to do with him, and that we both love him very much. I'd heard that younger kids sometimes blame themselves, but my son is almost 30. I hope and pray that my boys do not develop a crisis later in life due to all of this.

Some good news -- I saw my eye surgeon last month, and he says I do not need any more surgery or laser treatments right now, and only need reading glasses as my right eye seems to be compensating for my left somehow. AND, my fella is taking me to a NY Islander game on Valentine's Day, how sweet is he! Life is good, and I am truly grateful for all of my blessings.