Seperated and she is with someone - I'm desperate

[vdubber]

I stayed home this morning so I could get started on reading DB. I just finished part 1 and want to start on part 2 but have a mtg at the office this afternoon...plus I want to go buy a hilighter and notebook to take notes so I can start building goals for myself.

I'm still very much missing W and want to get a text from her but I feel that is unlikely. I cant help but feel that when she had texted me late Monday asking to meet and I declined that she has wrote me off...idk but I am sticking to the NC even if it kills me...which sometimes i think it actually could.

last night I went to go to a place for dinner and a drink and listen to music. There was no music...guess they don't do that on Tuesdays anymore, shows how long it's been since I got out. I had a beer and ate fish tacos then headed out. It felt weird as I was by myself so a bit uncomfortable for me. No GAL plans for tonight as I want to read more of the DB book.

So I have some questions. I know I need to learn to do a 180 and GAL and that W will notice but I'm in NC which I don't know how long that should last and we swap kids on Monday nights from daycare so we do not see each other at all right now. How will she notice changes I've made if we don't have any time together?

Idk...I know I need to do this for me no matter, just getting discouraged as we have no interaction and at some point there would need to be to have any chance.