Mighty, I dont agree that you should answer his text. That's what he wants...to engage you. He is trying to make sure you are right there in case things go south again. And right now, he knows you are. That's the truth of it.
Look, you had hope. You saw some signs. He said some things that you wanted to hear. The fact that you wanted to believe him isnt because of a lacking in you.
The thing is that he never recommitted to you. So, really, while you can be sad and angry at how he handled it all, the reality is that you arent married. He never said he was coming home to work on the marriage.
Im not giving him a free pass at all because he knew exactly what he was doing. Keeping you on the hook while exploring his options. He was scared and didnt know where to turn. The idea that it really was his baby freaked him. out.
So, enough about him. He is who is right now. I dont care about him. I care about you and you are spinning. I get why you are but I dont want to see it continue.
You need to forgive yourself for believing him. You need to get it out of your head that he can act with honesty. You need to accept the fact that for now he has chosen what he has because he can.
Does it succk what he did and how he did it? Yea..big time.
But you dont have to let this define your life. You get to choose what kind of life you want.
The only way for you to do that is to accept that he made choices. You dont have to agree with them or like them. You just have to accept he has a right to them.
When you get to acceptance...that's when all the good stuff happens. It says..I love you and understand that you have to do this, but, I am going to be over here living my life.
And then, Mighty....live it. Just live it.
The road to peace starts with acceptance and ends with forgiveness. In between is a whole bunch of stuff that you will learn about you.
You are strong, capable, funny and smart. You are insightful, a good mother, witty and worthy. Dont allow him to take anything else from you. Not one single thing.
He isnt worthy of you...and she does not matter. At all. In any way. She just doesnt.
Your kids are watching closely. Trust me on that. They see things you dont think they see.
Show them you, M. Show them what you are made of. Show them that when life tries to kick your buttt, you dont let it.
All of this, is on him. His relationship with his kids, the financial stuff, the new baby...all of it is his mess. Leave him to figure it out or not. Not your problem any longer.
