Yeah you are spinning a bit, I feel it ... only reasons is .. I have been there. I would spin on my way to drop S off at her new place, I would spin upon entering the place, this is normal. Give yourself some credit .... you were Hiroshima'd and you are still dazed from the fall out and trying to deal with being a good parnet while still struggling with the emotional stuff thrown in for good measure.
So lets get you thinking about something else ... the DB stuff still pertains to us over here in MLC-ville, at times I think we forget that as its really easy to toss on a "I'm with the MLC'r----->" T shirt and call it a day. Are you doing any GAL's? I think out of the 3 (PMA,180,GAL's) the GAL for use LBS of the MLC variety is the most important ... I realize you have your hands full with the kids ... I have included my S in my GAL activities. He has finally learned to ride his bike .. so he rides while his dad jogs/dies beside him. I also think of things we can do out ... his baseball started up, as my football and softball games .. we support each other .. Think of things you can do that are good for you and your soul if you can not get out alone.
The prayer thing. Reading about your moment made me think of something I heard about .. have done several times (not as many as I'd like but need to). So if you can, get outside ... start with just your basic prayer of thanking Him for His Blessings. Then ask for him to give you clarity and strength, after that ... just take 5-10 minutes and sit in silence, let your mind body and soul just be, sometimes you can get a better feel what He wants from you if you can get quiet and hear Him.
