This morning I recieved a parcel which was the unopened christmas presents I sent my nephew and niece (or STBX N&N)with a note inside. it was short but the key paragraph was:
Whilst I appreciate what has gone on is none of my business, I was hugely disappointed to learn that our grans money has not been returned to my sister. I am sure gran is turning in her grave and this wasn't right/fair, in my families shared opinion.
I guess you've done what you think is right, which is your perogative.
Now this sheds a lot of light on the whole money grabbing comments that have been made and also shows to me the conversation they have been having is much as I expected. Theres a lot of detail which you dont need but suffice to say that this represents a very narrow and overly simplified view.
I feel given the conversation we've had its another marker to show that any reconcilliation would involve substantial family fallout.
Any way i feel i should respond in part because I dont think silence is helpful here and in part because I want to. I also have no expectation that SIL will see anything positive.
This letter has however provoked all my sarcastic and snarky side as there is a lot of criticism i can direct at SIL, but i dont want to go there and I'm recognising and observing those emotions rather than letting them control me. Though you should see the letter that side of me would draft (BACK IN YOUR BOX)
So I've drafted a response and would like some input - Have i removed all the Jackal?
Hi SIL
I was disappointed to receive the parcel and letter from you. I'll respect your wishes and refrain from sending N and N presents in future. Please know I wish the very best for them both.
I'll admit to being a little confused regarding your comments about the money W inherited from your Gran but can understand why you might feel as you do. Although I could explain my feelings on this I'm not sure that would be helpful.
What I will say, and financial disclosure will show, is that I have given W all the money it was possible for me to raise and done this in the timescale she requested. Our only alternative would have been to sell the house which would have taken significantly longer and most likely resulted in a smaller amount of money for W.
No one has done well out of this and it is my greatest hope that we are able to minimise the harm this does to our children so that whether with me or with W, they have a stable and loving home.
Regards
Jim
So thoughts?
Thanks in advance
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
